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The sex buddy.

What a scintillating concept. Anytime you feel your loins twitch and naughty flashes of primal pleasure flit through your mind, a phone call is all it takes to quench that carnal thirst.

But as two friends of mine recently found out, this concept isn’t for anyone vaguely in touch with their emotions.

Their trysts quickly crossed the line into potential boyfriend-land and began to get ugly.

I asked them if they believed they had remained within the unsaid boundaries of buddy relations.

“Yes.” They were very, very quick to point out. “But he said this, then he said that, then he did that so what was that supposed to mean??!”

Amused as I was, it got me thinking about how many people really think about these “boundaries” before they begin treading water in the pond of lust.

So I thought I may take a stab and see what you might have to consider if you ever felt the need to wander into the wonders that is the sex buddy.

Here are a few I came up with:

• Emotions are to be kept at bay- any of your baggage are for your mates, girlfriends and therapist

• Wining and dining are for relationships. The attraction of this arrangement is that the need for romance is replaced by a clear understanding of both participants’ intentions. It is sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

• Details of your relationship history, bad days at work, euphoria at landing that promotion are again for your mates, girlfriends and therapist. These may be used as cause for a celebratory afternoon session but keep it simple and keep the particulars out of it.

• Both parties are free to see other people. Jealousy needs a good kick up the backside or at the very least, stored under your bed and vented out to someone who is obligated to care.

• Apart from a great shag, there should be no other expectations. No. None.

• Tantrums. Just not on.

• Honesty is key with your buddy and especially with yourself- if you want more, and they don’t, pack your bags and walk.

• If you at any point on more than one occasion have to sit there and wonder- “What did he/she mean by that?!” Pack your bags and walk.

• Respect yourself, stay true to how you feel, remember and know your self-worth.

• Bail if you start to feel cheap. Bail if the both of you aren’t equal partners in this deal.

Whew.

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Posted By: Neems - Category: No Category

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Chris Brown's Conviction- that SHOULD teach him a lesson!

June 23rd 2009 00:13

Image coutresy of www.theage.com.au

I'm not too sure if I need to say too much about this.

Chris Brown has been convicted of assaulting his then girlfriend Rhianna. Assaulting her- aka bashing her almost to the point of no recognition, biting her, degrading her, slamming her head against the car window.

A month or so ago, he posts a little video up on the internet thanking his loyal fans and calling everyone else who aren't supporting him- "haters".

Doesn't sound too remorseful to me...but who am I to judge?

After pleading guilty, the courts give him 180 days of community service and placed him on probation for the next 5 years.

So if I think about this for a bit....he will still be able to make music, travel the world (unless this conviction hinders that slightly?), and still make BUCKETLOADS of money.

Wow. That's teaching him responsibility for his actions. That teaches him to respect people. That shows him and the world how seriously the court system regards violence against women and violence in general.

But hey, I could be wrong.

Please see link:

Really Long Link

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Posted By: Neems - Category: No Category

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Plane Passengers From Hell

January 13th 2009 02:19

I love flying. Everything about planes excites me, probably because it usually means I’m on vacation. The only thing about planes that irk me are the other passengers. I don’t dislike them all, just the ones that get seated next to me who are decidedly quite disgusting.

If there was one thing that would motivate me to make more money in life, it would be that I could buy a ticket on first class and have my private own cubicle.

So I thought that I’d list some of the grubs I’ve been lucky enough to sit next to and see if anyone else can top / add to the list…

Sitting securely at the number one spot:

An elderly man was sitting next to me one flight. The food arrived. He asks the flight attendant for an extra glass of water. He moves the first glass onto MY table, and places the second one on his tray. He proceeds to then noisily remove his DENCHERS and places these into the second cup, providing me with an appetising view of his choppers while I enjoy my meal.

Coming up in second place…

Upon falling asleep, man breaks into a steady, almost rhythmic display of flatulence. At first, I exploded into giggles…but that came to an abrupt halt the moment they ceased to be odourless.

In third position…

Woman who spends entire trip coughing and sneezing without observing the need to cover her mouth/nose for the benefit of the entire plane, and especially for me. The cherry on this cake of germs was when she wiped and picked her nose, then wiped it on her seat.

Fourth position goes to…

Man who feels it is quite acceptable to sit with legs spread wide enough to take up half of my own cramped leg room. Really, if he insists that it’s his right to sit spread eagled in ECONOMY class and take up half of my own space, he should pay for half of my ticket. I don't beleive that's an uncreasonable ask.

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