NeemsIs it okay for Men to cry?
June 3rd 2008 11:02
Wil Anderson, an Aussie comedian recently published an article in Sunday Magazine in which he posed the question- is it alright for blokes to cry?
Ranging from the silent tears you blink away during a sad movie to those moments when you howl for all humanity and put the neighbourhood watch on alert.
It’s fair to say that men are born as emotionally charged as women but they are then taught to suppress their emotional side in order to “be a man”, to appear less “gay” and to fit into the role preordained for men by their predecessors i.e. the macho patriarch who sets the strong example for the family.
Looking at the level of violence involving men around us- fights in pubs, domestic violence and even school yard / workplace bullying, I wonder whether if it were more socially acceptable for men to vent their emotions as women are able to- through crying and being encouraged to talk about their feelings- would they then be less prone to resorting to their fists when frustrated?
Ask a lot of men when the last time they cried was, and most of them will tell you they can’t remember or it was during some occasion where their masculinity couldn’t be diminished in any major way- such as a funeral or tragic accident.
They are conditioned to believe that “real” men cry on the inside because that’s a show of “real” strength. And while they probably do shed a tear while alone, being able to talk about it would help even more. Male friends have shared their experience on what their mates do when one of the pack is upset- "take em out and get em pissed blind all weekend...it helps". Yes it probably does, but only for a little while. Dare they cry on one of these blokey weekends away? Not a chance.
But allowing ourselves the luxury of a good old cry every now and then is one of the healthiest things you can do. When you bawl for that dream job you don’t quite have yet, for the cruelty that exists in the world, for the fact that the supermarket no longer sells your favourite yoghurt in the economy cups or my personal favourite- for simply no reason at all.
While for women, crying seems naturally worked into our genetic make-up, for men this outlet isn’t one that gets to be explored all that often. And that’s a pity. I’ve always thought of human beings as walking pressure cookers that constantly need to let off steam to prevent us exploding. There are many ways to relieve the pressure- exercise, yoga, martial arts and the like.
But sometimes crying is an outlet you simply can’t beat. It allows you to take a breather from being the strong one, from putting on that brave face and to just let go of every single thing you weren’t allowing yourself to truly feel because perhaps it wasn’t appropriate or it got in the way of logical thinking at the time.
I wouldn’t think someone was any less of man because he let a few tears or even a flood of them escape the corner of his eyes. And I don’t believe the majority of women out there would either. But it's what goes through the minds of other men that seems to sadly yet understandably count for more. And this needs to change.
Neema Mohan, 3rd June, 2008 ©
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
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Please do not give me a lecturing response, you asked, I replied.
Comment by Joel 3
Stamp Me Out
Talking about emotions is something everyone, men and women, should embrace and be comfortable doing. I wish I had more people in my life that I could openly exchange ideas, thoughts and emotions to in a non-threatening scene.
Everyone has these so why hide them? They may be given an outlet in art, but what about conversation?
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
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Otherwise youare not a man