NeemsMr Good On Paper-Is He Good Enough???
April 2nd 2008 11:41
Mr-Good-On-Paper- he’s nice, reliable, a family man, financially secure, willing to go the marital distance and perfect to introduce to your parents. On paper, he’s perfect. You would be mad not to snap this gent up and happily take him off the market. And most importantly, he’s totally besotted- head over heels- ready to move mountains for you.
So what’s the problem? Why can you not look this guy in the eyes and tell him he is just right for you? After all, guys like this don’t come by that often. And yet, there’s hesitation.
Interestingly, I have more than one friend who is in this very pickle. The men they are with are able to tick off almost every box in a woman’s long list of preferences. But there seems one thing that’s lacking.
A certain spark, that tiny piece of the puzzle that would finish off the entire picture- a definite chemistry that just doesn’t seem to exist in their union.
These girls are confused. Should they simply settle, knowing they could lead secure, relatively happy lives with men who will always be by their side? Or do they leave, and seek that extra zing that’s also accompanied by the other criterion needed?
A dilemma ensues- what if that combination simply doesn’t exist for them? What if they let this man go and are forever left wanting and looking for a partner to grow old with?
Perhaps staying with their current man isn’t such a bad thing- eventually love will take root and blossom if the foundation upon which they begin their lives together is fertile enough on his side? Besides, isn’t he the man every woman is hoping to find? That ideal combination of maturity, commitment and kindness? Wouldn’t you be a lunatic for throwing that away?
Just how important is that extra spark that makes your eyes twinkle at the mere thought of him? That feeling that everything is just right the way it is, instead of the constant questioning if you are making the correct decision?
Should they chance it and hope they will stop wondering if they’ve made the right choice as they grow older? Is that fair for the partner they are with? Or is that just the sensible choice?
I also have friends who are in relationships where there isn’t a doubt in either mind of their suitability and commitment to one another. Their advice? Wait- the right man comes when he is meant to. Doubts that have lingered for years just might be life telling you that the wonderful man you are with is simply not the one for you. But how easy is it to preach the waiting game when you are no longer an active participant?
Eventually it really comes down to just how important finding that little ‘something something’ is to your happiness.
It takes a great deal of courage and self-confidence to make a decision to walk away from a relationship that is perfect on paper and a strong belief in ‘faith’ when we all know just how unpredictable life can truly be.
Neema Mohan, April 2nd, 2008- ©
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Comment by Aimzster
Health and Beauty
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Comment by Neems
Koala Lounge
And from personal experience- sometimes the man that eventually makes your heart skip really is nothing as you have pictured!
Thanks for dropping in
neems xx
Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
As I remember once telling a friend of mine (when she was trying to talk herself into getting serious about a guy) that the difference between a really good friend and a boyfriend/partner is that 'zing'. You gotta have that as far as I'm concerned.
Of course, its easy to say that.......much harder to walk away from.
By the way, my friend did take my advice and is now happily married to another guy that she adores and she has 2 kids.
Kylie
Comment by Neems
Koala Lounge
I'm glad you brought that up, one of my friends I referred to in the piece said that she feels like she sleeps next to her best friend, not her boyfriend. That's what got me thinking about that extra spark...I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels it's an important part of a union!
Neems xx
Comment by katyzzz
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The answer, take relationships seriously and forget the Prince Charming fairytale. Sad but true.