NeemsThe Michelin Men
May 25th 2008 09:01
The other day a friend of mine- Mick mentioned he had a new goal for himself at the gym. He wanted to stack on at least 10kg of pure muscle. He clutched about 5 micro-millimetres of fat on his sides and boldly stated that this was what he needed to banish from his life forever!
Not one to indulge in anyone’s need to fish for compliments, I abstractedly nodded and feigned vague interest. Until that is, he declared his impatience about the amount of time it would take to achieve this goal. But if he took a bout of Steroids, he’d probably be able to see his body “ripped” and lean in no time.
He looked at me and asked eagerly- “So what do you reckon?!”
I surveyed the boy in front of me. He was perfectly proportioned, had a body complete with beautiful biceps and token six-pack which many a man would envy and many a woman would love to feel-up. And yet, this wasn’t enough for him.
I suddenly remembered a gym underneath Flinders street station that I used to walk past everyday. I would peek inside purely for my daily fit of giggles at the over pumped steroid induced men strutting their stuff comparing whose biceps were bigger.
Everyone has no doubt seen at least one of them. They’re a hideous breed whose main aspiration seems to be replicating the Michelin man’s physique. Eight-time Mr. Olympia, Ronnie Coleman is usually their choice role model and nothing short of an outbreak of the plague (if that) would prevent them from their time at the gym.
And while they had always seemed harmless enough to me, I hadn’t thought about their influence on the younger, more impressionable minds they come in contact with during their daily work-outs.
Until Mick who has just turned 23 and I had this little chat.
My face would have been one of acute incredulity as I asked him if parading around like a two-ton, overstuffed monkey was really something worth achieving especially if it came at the expense of his health.
Mick reassured me he had spoken to people at his gym and that they were all on “gym candy” and they were fine.
So then I asked him whether he had done any of his own research on the use of Steroids. Whether he was even aware of what it could do to your body both in the short and long terms.
I listed some of the effects I knew off the top of my head- aggressive behaviour, acne, jaundice, mood swings, depression, and premature balding? Saving the worst for last, I hit him with what I thought would surely distress any hot-blooded male. Steroids, I said, can cause impotency!
He replied, “Yea but all those are only if you take it for ages Neems…I’ll take one cycle and stop...it’ll be fine...trust .
His tone had a finality to it that made me realise that Mick might have already made up his mind. No matter what I was telling him was going in through one ear and out the other.
Because he was in regular contact with the meat-heads at the gym and all of them were still standing, still functioning and worse, ripped and raring to strut (for now), in his mind this drug was perfectly ok to take.
They had filled his head with such strong reassurances that Steroids are as safe for muscle growth as Panadol is for a headache that Mick was all but sold on the idea. And why slave for years to attain his ideal body when there's such an enticing shortcut?
I wondered whether after his first bout of steroids if he would indeed stop. Probably not. I could see a potentially vicious cycle beginning- the bigger he got, the more the maniacs at the gym would congratulate him, encouraging him to take it further. If he hasn’t already, he would develop a distorted body image and nothing would ever be enough.
I’m sure there are a few people who have indeed stopped after one or two cycles having achieved their ideal physique.
But is the risk of a disorder and damaging your body really worth the vanity? How long before these men keel over with kidney disease, sterility, heart damage, while inflicting aggressive behaviour upon anyone around them? And what kind of example are they setting for their kids?
I’m catching up with Mick this Wednesday armed with research and traumatising stories of men similar to him who have regretted taking the drug. I'm hoping I can make him see sense.
Hopefully I’m not too late.
*** For more info on Steroids, visit: Really Long Link ***
Neema Mohan, 25th May, 2008 ©
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Comment by Jhonen
I did however tell him off one day when he tried to convince me that taking steroids would be a good way to stack muscle. I informed him of the side effects and like your friend he said that he would only do it for one cycle. Seeing as how my friend's heroes were Ronnie Coleman and Franco Colombo I was unconvinced that it would stop at that. I remember him envying those that were so big they couldn't touch their shoulder for their biceps. I bluntly put it to him that I (and apologies for being crude) would prefer to be small guy with a big dick than a buffed up muscle head with a small one. Putting it that way seemed to deter him and he had second thoughts about it.
This was a couple years ago now, he doesn't really go to the gym that much anymore and his desire to be Mr Universe has somewhat died off. Overall even if he had taken steroids it would have been a waste cause to this present day he hasn't kept up with the training.
I'm yet to come across a girl who finds overly muscled men attractive. Maybe those guys should watch one of Ronnie Coleman's workout documentaries and see how being that size in muscle is almost as bad as being obese. In one of his videos he constantly appears short of breath, sweats profusely and and has difficulty doing simple everyday things like putting on a T-shirt.
Just cause steroids make results appear faster does not mean it's better. Being naturally fit is more appreciated cause it shows that you care about your body but are not obsessed with it.
Well that's my story... a long one but one nonetheless.
Jhonen
Comment by Neems
Koala Lounge
Thanks very much for dropping by and more importantly sharing your story!
Your friend is lucky to have had you to talk to. It sounds like you've got a healthy and realistic attitude to what's good for your body and what it is capable of.
I like some of the points you brought up about your friend too- that his desire to train as hard waned after a few years. It's something I will bring up when I meet Mick tomorrow night. Your mate sounds like Mick- he also looks up to these Mr Olympia types as if they have the most ideal fitness regime. I've watched Ronnie Coleman's training videos- he's ridiculous. To think that's what some people look up to perplexes me.
I'm happy to hear your friend resisted. You are 100% right- most women are not attracted to those meat-heads because quite frankly they look creepy. It's one thing to be healthy but there's a limit.
hahahaha and yes, it is much better to be well endowed downstairs than anywhere else- any woman would WHOLE-HEARTEDLY agree with you on that one!
Neems