NeemsThe New Breed of Mutants- How many have you encountered??
March 15th 2008 00:48
We’re being attacked by mutants from every corner of Melbourne and we’re not quite sure what to do about it. Do we laugh at every encounter that has us questioning whether the men in this city get together each day and take their daily dose of a mutant pill? Or do we reluctantly keep watering the seed of bewilderment that has taken fertile ground in the pit our stomachs?
You see these weirdoes in movies and you laugh because at the back of your mind, there’s that comfort that you probably won’t ever meet them in real life. But that safety screen has been shot down- for they are out there, not afraid to make themselves known to any female who wanders into their lair.
One of my friends has a blunt theory- that it has become a numbers game whereby out of the 50 odd women the mutant has spoken to, at least one of them will either be drunk enough to fall for his wits or be frantic enough themselves by that time of night to give him a go. And therein lies his confirmation that his dodgy approach is a worthy one.
So to fill everyone in on the mutants that have struck my circle of friends, I thought I’d include a few choice encounters we’ve had the honour of experiencing.
The ‘Over Ambitious Mutant- The one with the Swagger
Girl is happily sitting and chatting with her mates in a bar. Mutant is kissing the naval of another girl approximately 2 meters away. 20 minutes later, Mutant swaggers over and starts circling girl- his hips swaying from side to side. Mutant approaches, throws his arm around her neck and utters- “I think you are gorgeous and I want to be involved with you”. OKAY THEN.
The ‘Exhibitionist Mutant’- The one with the Stripping
Mutant and unwary girl are out together at the St Kilda festival. They head to the pier overlooking the water. Conversation is flowing and mutant says the water looks great and they should just jump in. Girl laughs, still under the illusion mutant is joking and says “Sure, you go ahead and I’ll join you”. Glad to be given the signal of approval Mutant whips off all his clothes so there’s nothing between his John Daniel’s and the fine St Kilda breeze and jumps in.
Girl has now entered shock when Mutant hops out and runs over to her, as naked as the day he was born, and proceeds to hug her in full view of at least 500 people. Tthis consequently their 3rd-and final-date.
The ‘Over Sensitive Mutant’ - The one with the Sms
Mutant waits for one week after meeting unsuspecting girl before messaging her on a Saturday night wanting to know if she wants to hook up. Estimated time of arrival of this message was 7:45pm. Girl is out with her mates and doesn’t hear the phone. Message number two arrives at 9:40pm. Message reads: “So you another fake-ass ho eh? Don’t even bother replying, I’m not even interested anymore”. What the?
It’s with some inane confidence that the mutants strike. While it all makes a hilarious story for your friends at the next girl’s night out, it did make me wonder- has meeting someone normal suddenly become a rare luxury??
Neema Mohan, March 15th, 2008- ©
You see these weirdoes in movies and you laugh because at the back of your mind, there’s that comfort that you probably won’t ever meet them in real life. But that safety screen has been shot down- for they are out there, not afraid to make themselves known to any female who wanders into their lair.
One of my friends has a blunt theory- that it has become a numbers game whereby out of the 50 odd women the mutant has spoken to, at least one of them will either be drunk enough to fall for his wits or be frantic enough themselves by that time of night to give him a go. And therein lies his confirmation that his dodgy approach is a worthy one.
So to fill everyone in on the mutants that have struck my circle of friends, I thought I’d include a few choice encounters we’ve had the honour of experiencing.
The ‘Over Ambitious Mutant- The one with the Swagger
Girl is happily sitting and chatting with her mates in a bar. Mutant is kissing the naval of another girl approximately 2 meters away. 20 minutes later, Mutant swaggers over and starts circling girl- his hips swaying from side to side. Mutant approaches, throws his arm around her neck and utters- “I think you are gorgeous and I want to be involved with you”. OKAY THEN.
The ‘Exhibitionist Mutant’- The one with the Stripping
Mutant and unwary girl are out together at the St Kilda festival. They head to the pier overlooking the water. Conversation is flowing and mutant says the water looks great and they should just jump in. Girl laughs, still under the illusion mutant is joking and says “Sure, you go ahead and I’ll join you”. Glad to be given the signal of approval Mutant whips off all his clothes so there’s nothing between his John Daniel’s and the fine St Kilda breeze and jumps in.
Girl has now entered shock when Mutant hops out and runs over to her, as naked as the day he was born, and proceeds to hug her in full view of at least 500 people. Tthis consequently their 3rd-and final-date.
The ‘Over Sensitive Mutant’ - The one with the Sms
Mutant waits for one week after meeting unsuspecting girl before messaging her on a Saturday night wanting to know if she wants to hook up. Estimated time of arrival of this message was 7:45pm. Girl is out with her mates and doesn’t hear the phone. Message number two arrives at 9:40pm. Message reads: “So you another fake-ass ho eh? Don’t even bother replying, I’m not even interested anymore”. What the?
It’s with some inane confidence that the mutants strike. While it all makes a hilarious story for your friends at the next girl’s night out, it did make me wonder- has meeting someone normal suddenly become a rare luxury??
Neema Mohan, March 15th, 2008- ©
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Comment by katyzzz
Photography Tips
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Well done, hope you find some followers, unfortunately there are more on the other side, especially in blogging, it seems.
Comment by Neems
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Truth Whisperer
Thanks so much
Me too- but even if the numbers are small, they are there and that's a start!
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Neems
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