NeemsWhat's good for the Goose...
July 29th 2008 06:49
For a lot of us born into a religion, we are taught that in order to nurture our relationship with God, we are to follow a strict set of guidelines. Whatever the belief we choose to follow, each one dictates the ways we ought to communicate with Him. One of which is reciting memorised verses from religious texts in prayer.
We are told that failure to do so means we risk His wrath or move further away from a peaceful afterlife. As a result, we faithfully follow these rules content in the knowledge that we are pleasing the Almighty.
For the last 20 years of my life, this has worked very well for me. I've faithfully followed everything my parents have taught me and never questioned it.
Lately, however, each evening as I begin my one-on-one dialogue with Him, I find the words I recite feeling strangely hollow. The verses that I have had memorised since I was 6 years old, have suddenly lost their meaning. At first I tried to ignore it- attributing the lack of concentration on a rather low moment in my life.
However, the more I think about it, the more I recognise that I am in fact an individual whose ideas of prayer are becoming vastly different to what my religious texts would have me follow. This has caused a little bone of contention with my more conservative self. Feelings of guilt and fear want to throw aside these new ideas and try to recapture the satisfaction I used to feel with my old prayers. But try as I might, I can’t silence the little voice in my head that tells me to embrace the path I’m being drawn towards.
I began wondering whether we rely so much on being told what to do, that we sometimes overlook our individual needs. Looking at other aspects it becomes quite evident that many of us follow the guidelines of life set by our predecessors and subsequently get thrown into a state of panic when life takes us on a detour.
Think about it. We are born, we hit kindergarten running and don't stop until our final year in high school. University life quickly follows and that is meant to result in a well paid job that gives us financial security. Did I mention while all this is happening it would also be ideal to meet the person of our dreams, fall in love and get married and start making babies- all the while precariously balancing the expectations of others, a mortgage and ensuring we set fine examples for our offspring?
I'm out of breath just writing that.
It's little wonder then that I find myself at odds with my decision to break away from the norm. If I had to align my life as it is right now with the timeline set by traditional society, I find that I am no where near where I “should” be at 26 years old. And usually a piece of news like this would have me curled in a foetal position at the foot of my bed.
But quite frankly, I'm happy and I love exactly where I am right now. I'm done with the unnecessary pressures that are heaped upon us. Everything will fall into place and will happen when it happens. I'm focused, I’m working hard and I know I'll get there. My relationship with myself, with life and with God is my own- it took me a long time to accept and acknowledge that. How I choose to interact with all this will be the way that suits me the best.
There are probably many enlightened people who have already given traditional expectations a great big heave-ho. And there are almost certainly more than a few who take this to extremes (but that’s a whole other blog entry).
Personally, I’m glad I’ve broken free of them because it means that I allow myself to be quite content with the road upon which my life is travelling. The experiences I'll have will be all the more wonderful because I'm not fretting about where my life should be according to a bunch of people who don't really give a hoot about me. And that makes my dreams appear more achievable.
Neema Mohan, 29th July, 2008 ©
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Comment by Chris Champion
moneywhither
Vyoos
Zoomies
Bloggercises
The Blog of Lists
Newly Old
I haven't been there and I'm glad - dealing with the feelings of guilt must be tough. I don't suppose it helps to point out that many have gone down this path before. Not many have written about it so beautifully or evocatively however. Great post.
Regards,
Chris
Comment by Neems
Koala Lounge
Truth Whisperer
I find it's an ongoing struggle especially when I bump into those who simply can't see past the ends of their own noses! Although, now it's easier to take them with a pinch of salt.
I was having a read of one of the posts about Obama vs McCain that triggered off a wonderfully heated discussion. I think it was someone called Lester (?) that reminded me of just how much we can allow our minds to be controlled....that's what I find most frightening.
Neems